Charisma Training: Churchill: 'Failure is rarely fatal'

What we see is selective, because our brain instinctively focuses on dangers. We see a small fraction of what is going on, because we have a limited capacity for perception. Our thoughts are therefore subjective. Churchill: “Failure is seldom fatal.”

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The first thing you can do is to rid yourself of thoughts with a negative charge. There are many NLP techniques available. For example: distance yourself from the feeling of guilt. Instead of saying: “I feel guilty”, you can look at the phenomenon of guilt as if you were a scientist studying this phenomenon. You can visualize that your thoughts are the sound of a radio, which you can turn down. You can look at yourself from a third person, reducing the image of yourself to a point. Then zoom out until the country you live in has become a dot on the earth.

Suppressing negative feelings will take its toll. The best thing is to rewrite the perception in which you place your feelings. This is best done on paper. Take a pen and describe the situation in a positive light, in the present or past tense. You can do this in great detail and include sensory experiences. Why does this method work? Because our brain accepts imagination and experiences it as reality, even when we know that we are dealing with the placebo effect.

Whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation, imagine how this situation can turn out positively in different ways.

Do you have a task that takes a long time? Try to finish it quickly, even if it is not done perfectly. You can perfect it later. This helps against procrastination.

Our brain is flexible: it constantly rewrites itself.

Body language and visualization

Your body language determines the strength of your charisma. In acting, the most effective method is: become the character you play. Visualization is a powerful method to let charisma flourish. There are countless exercises that enhance visualization. Enhance your visualization with your favorite music and poses that remind you of moments when you have won something. (The Charisma Myth: Master the Art of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane.)

Emotional intelligence and connection

Resentment is the poison that poisons us. Are you feeling anxious? Then increase oxytocin. A hug, or even imagining a hug, increases oxytocin.

Choose a charisma style that suits you. Think about your personality, goals and situation. Learn to listen charismatically and train a warm look in your eyes. There are techniques for that.

Before going to sleep: think of a person with a charisma that you admire, and ask this person for advice in your mind. Train the feeling of gratitude in yourself.

This will ensure better connections with others.

Gratitude extends your life and strengthens your charisma.

Granting, empathy and compassion: these three qualities increase your charisma and help to avoid arrogance. Forgive yourself a lot. You can practice gratitude by being grateful for a blue sky above your head or a beautiful view.

Exercise

Think of someone who hurt you. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything you wanted to say to this person; literally everything. Put this letter away.

Take a new piece of paper and write a response from this person to you. Have him or her admit guilt and apologize, exactly as you would like to hear it.

You will find that this exercise has an effect on you and on how others treat you. NLP techniques can both increase your charisma and improve the quality of your life.