People who enter into destructive relationships have often experienced a similar situation at home. They feel comfortable in circumstances that resemble what they experienced in their youth. Drawing on insights from psychology, Inna investigates whether childhood traumas are responsible for why we always attract the same types of partners. What is codependency, and what does it mean to be addicted to relationships? Someone can become self-effacing and not recognize the signs of an abusive relationship. Her two books offer tools to recognize people with mental disorders at an early stage and at the same time look more deeply at yourself and understand yourself better. In addition, communication advice is discussed, and some useful skills from the science of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) are discussed. Narcissism as a disorder A narcissist does not communicate, a narcissist manipulates. A narcissist deliberately uses misleading language with ambiguous words. Deep down, a narcissist believes that he himself is the victim. In this way he forces his victim to act as the perpetrator. In his communication he tries to send a message that there is an agreement between the two of them and that his victim has agreed to something. That is not the case. A narcissist sows doubt and tries to convince his or her victim that he or she is bad. A narcissist always uses answers like “maybe,” “could.” Some of the destructive language techniques a narcissist uses are: contradictory messages and gaslighting (twisting the truth to make the other person doubt themselves).